thatgreeneyedgirl

This post is going to be a hard one to write. I feel as if in the last week I've talked this to death. However, writing is healthy so, yeah. My boyfriend and I broke up. "For now" I knew it was coming. I felt it in my bones, I thought we could make it through this rough patch. Correction. I could make it through. Not us. Not him. He just sees darkness, and wants to blame someone else for what's going on. I'm not going into detail, but basically I took myself out of the equation because "I can't handle anymore stress." God forbid he asked me about my day, it was all negative. Then he got mad I didn't tell him what was going on in my life, like bitch, you never asked! And I didn't wanna "Stress him" anymore then I needed. There's only so many ways to say sorry and that things will get better. There's only so many times you let it slide. I'm angry, and I'm hurt, and I'm grieving the relationship. I did e

OMG  HI  HELLO It's been awhile again. I really gotta figure out a schedule for this. Not only so it's not so random, but so on weeks where I don't have much to say, I can at least talk about a topic, and not be all over the place talking about a million things a minute.  I want to talk about so much, but I don't know where to start, and I don't want this to be a million miles long. That didn't make sense.  I think I'm in a mixed episode right now, which is interesting. Because my mind is going like 10000000000 mph high and just all over the place, but emotionally I feel like dying in a way. I am typing relatively fast, but my body feels heavy.  I do contribute the mania to the monster energy I had today for work. Usually it helps focus me so I get things done, and I'm not lazy at work. But there are the days where it throws me so high I can't focus and I'm super distracted. Which is hard when I have a to-do list, and I can&#

     I don't think I've always been an emotional being. I really believe that it was nature over nurture that made me like this. Sometimes feeling so much can be a blessing, other times not. It seems to be a see-saw and I pop up or slam down. When I'm up I can't come down, and when I'm down, I can't bare to get up, everything's so heavy, so black and white. I remember being in a stairwell in high school and everyone seemed to just blur past me and it was all slow motion. And faded, like the saturation wasn't at it's normal level. Other times I had been the one in slow motion, when everything is so vibrant and moving and sparking every bit of my attention.      I always knew my emotions were "more" then others in high school. All the adults in my life chalked it up to me being a "teenage girl". They never believed that there could be more. They thought everything was a phase and I was just lazy or unfocused. They were right, part

I used to write so much. I used to write "songs" if you wanted to call them that, or I would do what I did below, which is alot of verses. XD I was singing them together but it wasn't like song flowing. And I don't even know why I did, I just did. Honestly it doesn't bother me, I'm more just curious what this bitch wanted from my life after all these years. So here's a little story if you will, of him and I, and really it probably won't make any sense. And I paint this kid in such a bad light I know. But like, he's a fucking twat. :)  ---- i don't remember the color of your eyes i don't remember you favorite color last time we spoke, was literally years ago there was a time i thought i would die without you i thought i would never get over you you pulled me in pulled me in so close  just to slam the fucking door then you came around and told me that you loved me you wanted to be with me the summer wasn't a gam

I have totally been updating this blog, and I totally, didn't just post 2x and leave it... TOTALLY. Ok.. Mayyyyyybe I got distracted...... For like months..... It'a August..... Whoops.... Well, hi  Again.... Haha.... This page has totally been revamped, and it took me forever! I don't know why I never posted, I love the customization of this site. I'm exited to post again. I have alot I want to talk about, and I know you've heard that before, I've said it many a times. I mean it though!  Currently, I'm listening to Pandora, "grandson" radio. I have alot of different music I really have been loving. Blackbear "4U" is currently playing. He's hot. I love him.  Now it's Bring Me The Horizon "Can You Feel My Heart" Ugh, another amazing band. I actually want to get a tattoo of the following because music has been such a major part of my life for as long as I can remember. I want it on my wrist where